• Elaine Zito

Identity Makeover: How to Actually Achieve Your Goals

Most of us are who we are based on our family, where we grew up, the surrounding community, and the society in which we live in. Our opinions, beliefs and actions are persuaded by everything around us. We are a culmination of many things working together over many years. Do you really even know how you got to be the way you are?

Essentially, your identity regulates your thoughts which influence your actions.

Evaluating your identity can bring light into why you do the things you do along with your strengths and weaknesses. Whether you think you are happy with who you are or not, we can always stand to improve.

So what exactly makes up a person's identity?


  • how you act when no one is looking

  • what you truly stand for (morals and beliefs)


  • the way other people think about you

  • the things you are known for (good and bad)


  • your personality

  • the things you enjoy


  • thoughts

  • actions

The first step to upgrading your life is to evaluate your identity. I want you to write down the positives and negatives for each bullet point for who you are today. Don't be shy or afraid to completely let go. If you feel upset, you're making progress to improvement. You can't have success or happiness without a little failure or feeling low.

Next, assess your current goals and figure out the type of person that would be able to achieve those goals. For example, if you have a health or fitness goal, your upgraded identity may be someone who drinks more water, takes vitamins, gets up earlier, and cuts out carbs. Or if you have a business goal, you might need to become someone who works 2 hours extra at night to put in the work that needs to be done. You might also benefit from time blocking your schedule and limiting your hours wasted on social media. Whatever it is you want to achieve, you must change your habits to accomplish it. You will not achieve greater things if you do not change your current routine. Align your new identity with the dreams you plan to fulfill.

Once you have figured out what needs to change in order to become the better version of yourself, fill out each section for what that best version looks like. You will come across challenges when it comes to that inner voice inside your head trying to keep you stagnant. The one you have been trained to listen to, that has been cultivated by your past. But those are the things that must evolve for a better life. You can compartmentalize the old you and new you by answering this:

  • Characteristics to take away

  • Characteristics to add

If you're still having trouble with what the best version of yourself looks like, find a role model in that category of your goal and figure out what they do. A few of my personals include Reese Witherspoon for her style and class and Jenna Kutcher for her business and lifestyle.

Finally, once you have a concrete plan for who you need to be to reach those dreams, you must change the story you tell about yourself. You can no longer be someone who associates with those bad habits. You must talk, act, think, promote, and live any and every aspect of your new identity. For example, my Instagram bio says I'm a life coach. I technically don't have a business where I coach people yet, but you're reading my blog about improving your life. I am living like the person I aim to be before I even reach that goal.

I'll leave you with one final quote:

"To create change you must make change"

So... what do you need to alter to become who you truly want to be and reach your dreams?

Change your identity, change your life.

Name: The Isla Girl

Age: 27

Happy place: Tropical temps by the water

Character motto: "Will I be proud of this at the end of the day or will I be disappointed in myself?"

Reputation: loves attention a little too much but has a passion for truly helping others-obsessed with self growth and the beach!

Brand: palm print, bright colors, pineapples, champagne

Habits: working on herself and achieving big dreams, chasing the most beautiful Caribbean waters, drinking a little too much, growing from her failures